


What if who I hoped to be was always me?

by aaliona



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Hogwarts Era, Human Remus Lupin, M/M, Marauders era, Remus was never bit, Role Reversal, Sirius is bit by Fenrir as a child, Werewolf Sirius Black, more tags to be added as the story continues, school age
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-05-16
Updated: 2020-05-16
Packaged: 2021-03-03 04:26:56
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 707
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24208918
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/aaliona/pseuds/aaliona
Summary: "As the thing lunged, Sirius opened his mouth to scream. The last thing he saw and the thing that he remembered most for years to come was the big, bright moon watching it happen. And the moon didn’t care."Or, the role reversal AU no one asked for where Sirius was bit by a werewolf as a toddler instead of Remus. At age 11, he felt relieved to be allowed to go to Hogwarts at all. He never imagined he'd make such close friends or that they'd react so well when they discovered what he was.
Relationships: Sirius Black/Remus Lupin
Comments: 8
Kudos: 16





	What if who I hoped to be was always me?

**Author's Note:**

> I am so excited about this story and the possibilities of it! I don't think personalities will be too far off from the Marauders we know and love, but obviously some things will change. Remus will be a little more confident. Sirius will be a little more cautious.

When Sirius Black was four years old, he would often stay up late looking out the window. He couldn’t sleep, not after Father yelled at him so before bed. Regulus was still a toddler, but as Sirius was often reminded, he behaved better than his older brother. Why couldn’t Sirius be more like Regulus instead of acting out and making so much noise when guests were over? Why did he have to interrupt when his father was trying to practice his Half-Breed Registration speech? When Father was busy, Sirius needed to leave him alone completely and totally, but he often forgot. He often suffered for that forgetfulness. 

At night, Sirius didn’t have to worry about being yelled at, but the silence was almost too much. He filled the silence by having conversations with the stars. 

In his head, of course. Sirius may have been little, but he was smart enough to know that talking to himself in his room at night would only end with him getting in trouble again. Instead Sirius kept all the conversations to himself. After all, he was a star. He had a connection to them, and surely that meant they could hear his thoughts and understand. They liked him because he was like them.

After a particularly tense night where Sirius’ mother had screamed at him for asking to go for a walk, Sirius sat awake staring out the window. The moon was full, and he stared at it in wonder. Could it hear him as well as the stars could? It seemed to shine just for him, and Sirius decided that it could.

 _Hello moon_ , he said to it shyly in his head. _I wish I could have light like yours every night. It would be easier to sleep if I had you with me._ Sirius pictured a tiny glowing moon and he could put in his pocket. He loved it. Sirius mimed doing just that, staring at his empty palm in wonder as if a baby moon were resting there shining up at him. 

Sirius looked up again in time to see a shooting star streak across the night sky. He gasped. Maybe this was his baby moon. It disappeared behind the buildings across the street, and Sirius knew there was a park back there. Maybe his moon was waiting for him.

Scrambling to his feet, Sirius hurried to the door before pausing and opening it very slowly. Mother and Father would be quite cross if they realized he was out of bed, much less that he intended to go outside to the muggle park down the way. He tiptoed as best he could to sneak down the stairs. He may have been little, but he knew which steps to avoid. His parents might not here them creak, but Kreacher would. Kreacher just loved getting Sirius in trouble, and he wouldn’t hesitate if he realized Sirius was up so late. 

As he slipped out the front door, Sirius took only a moment to look around and see the world at night. He wasn’t sure he’d ever been out on the street in the dark before. He carefully made his way around the corner, hurrying as he caught sight of the park. When Sirius got there, he couldn’t see a moon besides the one in the sky, and that one seemed to stretch bigger than ever above him. Sirius stared at it a moment, in awe that so much light could happen at night. He hoped he found his baby moon okay.

Sirius looked down again, and a slight glint caught his eye from the shadowy bushes across the way. Wait, there were two glints. Two eyes. It wasn’t his moon, but Sirius took a step forward as he tried to figure out what it was.

The eyes took a step forward too, and suddenly in the light, they were joined by two shiny rows of teeth as a deep, unsettling growl shook the air.

Sirius stumbled back, falling in his haste. As the thing lunged, Sirius opened his mouth to scream. The last thing he saw and the thing that he remembered most for years to come was the big, bright moon watching it happen. And the moon didn’t care.

**Author's Note:**

> I know this was just a super short tease, but I wanted to get the momentum moving. I have the next bit started and don't plan to have it up like tomorrow or anything like that. I have some ideas of where this is going and specific scenes, but if there's something you want to see, let me know! As of now, I'm thinking it will be a little more slice of life than a true through-line. Perhaps specific events or whole school years making up chapters. It will probably depend on how long the events of First Year end up being.


End file.
